October 6 would have been my dog Rufus’ birthday. He died in 2015, just a few days before his 11th birthday. I was devastated. After 15 years of being a “dog mom,” I was without. The year before we lost my beloved Rosey, who had been my first dog and who lived with me from when she was just 12 weeks old. When she came into my life I had just turned 45, decidedly single and childless, Rosey became the center of my home life. After lots of love and dedicated training, Rosey was, not only a close companion, she brought joy to many as a therapy dog. Within the next five years, I had acquired two cats and then adopted Rufus, who had been through 3 owners before coming to live with us. But, our little family of humans and pets fell apart from 2014 to 2015 as Rosey, then Rufus, then Serena, the cat, all died within the space of a year.
This date is also significant for other reasons. It falls in the first week of October, which since 1990 has been designated Mental Illness Awareness Week in the US. Just a few months before Rufus died I had decided I would try to forgo the anti-depressant medication that I’d been taking for close to 15 years. I thought that the years of meditation practice would be sufficient to keep my mental health stable. I realized this was a mistake when soon after losing him I had a panic attack at work, literally shaking and crying during a fairly important meeting. I refilled my prescription, doubled down on my commitment to meditating, and adopted another rescue dog, Pepper. Since the rescue group knew very little about Pepper other than that she was around 3 years old and her owner had died, I’ve given her Rufus’ birthday. I came through a difficult year relatively well. Two years later, we are celebrating Rufus and Pepper’s birthday with a quiet weekend.
This year, 2017, this first week of October has seen another horrific scene of mass murder in Las Vegas, the largest in recent American history. Not to mention, the incident has occurred on the heels of two natural disasters that hit the country, hurricanes Harvey and Irma.
Last night Saturday Night Live honored Tom Petty, whose death this same week at 66 of cardiac arrest surprised a generation of music lovers, people inspired by his music. A performance of Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers from 1979 was broadcast. Then the newest episode of SNL opened with Jason Aldean, who was on stage in Vegas when the shots rang out, performing Petty’s I Won’t Back Down. A perfect choice.
Well, I won’t back down
No, I won’t back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won’t back down
No, I’ll stand my ground
Won’t be turned around
And I’ll keep this world from draggin’ me down
Gonna stand my ground
And I won’t back down
(I won’t back down)
Hey, baby, there ain’t no easy way out
(I won’t back down)
Hey, I will stand my ground
And I won’t back down
Well I know what’s right
I got just one life
In a world that keeps on pushin’ me around
But I’ll stand my ground
And I won’t back down
(I won’t back down)
Hey, baby, there ain’t no easy way out
(I won’t back down)
Another storm, Nate, made landfall in the South. Here, in Glenside, PA, just some rain and clouds. All of this comes to my mind now on this rainy Sunday. I feel like I need to make something of it, though I am not sure what that is.
For now, I can only go about what needs to be done to maintain my ordinary life. Ask Alexa to play music by Tom Petty, while I clean up the kitchen, finish the laundry, grade assignments for my First-Year Seminar, and plan for classes coming up. Take Pepper for a walk later. Brush Diego, the cat. I’m so sad for those who have experienced such disastrous circumstances in the past few weeks. I wish them the courage to stand their ground, to not back down, to know that the human spirit is strong and resilient, there ain’t no easy way out, but a sense of balance can be realized. I so appreciate my little life as it is; it has it’s own ordinary grace. And I won’t back down.
Breathtakes 